My school days were competitive. Many times, there used to be more than one student tied for 1st Rank. This meant no 2nd rank, the next rank holder would be 3rd rank. It would be tie again between 2 students again. A single answer missed would lower your rank. This absurd competition continued even till engineering entrance exams. A single answer missed, means 1000 ranks down. The system was so crappy that inspite of securing over 90%, there were 9000 students who had secured more marks.
I cared lesser, But in other people's lives the expectations were sky high. They sacrificed an extra year to take the entrance exams again so that they could score couple of more percentages. Some students buckled under the pressure, lost their socializing ability, self confidence. A person who scored over 80% used to consider himself a useless student. Some parents even used to consider their boy as a poor student because he scored 80% only!!!!
Its not only in schools that this kind of skewed perception is present. One bad appraisal, you are considered a useless resource. The managers make you believe that you dont have it in you any more. You are not as wealthy as your peers or traveled overseas, you are not brilliant enough. People judge others at every given chance.
As absurd as it may seem, but that's the way people think.
So much expectations, the self confidence of a person is ultimately lost. Its almost like one lives to meet others' expectations rather than his own.
But there's another problem, the world
is a competitive place. You lose confidence, life turns miserable. Low energy levels, negative energy and stress creeps in.
How do you keep yourself up and running? So how does one fix this?
Two ways:
1) Don't give a damn about other's judging you (THE HARD WAY)
2) Every individual is the best judge of what he/she's capable of. Compete against yourself. (EASY WAY)
When I look back at how I used to survive at school, I was never great at Biology. Therefore I never aspired to top the class in Biology. I knew that it was not in my DNA. But I always knew I was better at computers. All that mattered was whether I reached my target. Did I get >95% every time? Never did I care how much the other person scored. I gave a damn even if the other person scored a 100. I missed my target, I was sad. I was my only competition.
There's competition at work too. Some peers get a bigger raise. Some of them have the knack of selling their ideas better. If I can't do what other's do, it really does not matter. That did not make me any lesser. I solve problems faster than most people, write much better code. My core skills matters a lot to me. Its important I continue improving on what I do best. That's the competition which drives me to do better stuff daily. Of course, its important to improve on my weakness. But it will never be at the expense of my strengths.
Winning at business, sports etc is a totally different approach. You need a proper plan, execute it well and play your cards well.
When it comes to day to day life, to be happy, gaining confidence and be ready to face the next day; its necessary to know what works for you and also to compete with yourself. Then you'd not care about what others think about you.
