Bringing out the best

Troubling times are always around the corner. In other words (terms), life is full of ups and downs. Good times pass like the breeze. It’s only during the bad times that time tends to stop and the going gets tough. During tough times, everything takes a beating. The body, the mind, and our relationships with people tend to suffer. There is always the need for that extra bit of strength during troubled times.

A lot of people look outwards for strength. People look for strength in other people, prayers, books etc and more often than not muster up enough strength. Therefore each individual, based on what works for him or her tend to develop their own ways to find strength and survive the struggle.

Looking outward for strength works most times. But during times of prolonged struggle, a loss of hope and when there is a loss of self doubt I've realised that looking inwards helps much better. The above situations invariably dent one's confidence. A loss of confidence leads to self doubt which in turn leads back to a loss of confidence. It is a vicious cycle. Talking to others helps, but only to an extent because, deep within, one is usually not sure if he or she really has it in them.

Therefore I feel that the key to build confidence and dispel all the uncertainity is to look within. The easiest method is to do the thing that one is good at. It may be as simple as cooking your favorite dish or singing your best song or playing your favorite sport. These are just examples. What is most important is to pick an activity which you excel at and do it till you feel good about yourself. This usually brings back both the good and the bad memories.

It is easy to ask, “If I get back bad memories, how will it help me? Won't it make things worse?“. The answer is simple. While pursuing the activity that one is are good at, it is almost certain that there would have been tough times and the individual would have previously overcome them. If not, the chances of him excelling in that chosen activity is rare. When these memories become available, they become the source of strength for the mind. We regain our lost confidence. Positive energy begins to flow. The focus is back. The perspective is back.

The simple truth  - good times come to an end! The bad times will pass too. Life will

repeat itself.

You can't find inner peace!!!

The miseries of the past haunt me. The future is uncertain. The present is full of troubles. It haunts me too. I lose sleep, fret over my condition. But nothing really changes. There is no peace in life.

Déjà vu.

It's not just me who feels this often. A lot of folks feel the same way. Whether its the kids studies or health or something else, people live with problems. Peace of mind is definitely lacking, unless one knows where to find it. The answer lies only in one place, in one's own head. The head is a labyrinth of thoughts. Good, bad and the ugly. All sort of thoughts can coexist in the same space. We feel despair, but we convince ourselves that things will be alright, thus giving ourselves hope. We can feel angry, yet within moments we feel happy. There are numerous instances like this when one feeling turns to another in few seconds.

The mind shows amazing adaptability to shift across varying feelings in seconds. Considering that one's mood changes for no apparent reason, I can safely declare that it's possible to find peace in times of turbulence too.

Let's take a situation where one feels disturbed over the past happenings. It could be a feeling of regret, hoping that things could have gone different, comparison with others or even wishing if one had more luck. These are just instances, but the reason for the disturbances could be anything. The cause of the disturbance may be an absolutely valid reason to feel bad or a totally stupid one. It may appear that life hasn't been fair or we are unlucky. The quickest way to achieve peace state of mind is by asking oneself a few questions.

'Can I do something about it at this instant?' , if the answer is yes, then you have a solution to the problem. You can go ahead and fix it. But, in most cases, the answer is a big NO. All that has to be done is to acknowledge the feeling. Is very important that we don't try to reason it out or wonder why the past happened. The acknowledgement must be in its simplest sense. Just be aware that we are remembering stuff from the past and go about doing your work.

The Future - when disturbed about the future, it's just a case of asking the same question. ' can I do something about it? '. The answer may be a NO. It may appear that a tough road lies ahead. It can definitely weigh you down. Now, one needs to ask the second question... 'So what? ' .. The answer to this simple question is that you just have to deal with it whether you like it or not. Again, it's just a case of acknowledging the feeling. It's just a case being aware of what the known future holds and choosing to do something more important at this instant.

There are no guarantees that we forget the past or stop thinking about the future. The easiest way is to accept to oneself that the thoughts exist in the head and decide whether to act on it or leave it. Once you decide to leave the thought aside, the mind automatically starts to work on something else and you feel peaceful.

The longer you can continue to acknowledge that thought exists and keep these thoughts aside, the peace of mind will be longer. The more number of distracting thoughts you can put aside, the more peaceful you'd feel.

But be warned that peace of mind is not absolute and can't be obtained through any means. It's just a state of mind. A simple case of shedding away unwanted thoughts for a given period of time.

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