Refueling the brain

My school days were competitive. Many times, there used to be more than one student tied for 1st Rank. This meant no 2nd rank, the next rank holder would be 3rd rank. It would be tie again between 2 students again. A single answer missed would lower your rank. This absurd competition continued even till engineering entrance exams. A single answer missed, means 1000 ranks down. The system was so crappy that inspite of securing over 90%, there were 9000 students who had secured more marks. 

 

I cared lesser, But in other people's lives the expectations were sky high. They sacrificed an extra year to take the entrance exams again so that they could score couple of more percentages. Some students buckled under the pressure, lost their socializing ability, self confidence. A person who scored over 80% used to consider himself a useless student. Some  parents even  used to consider their boy as a poor student because he scored 80% only!!!!

Its not only in schools that this kind of skewed perception is present. One bad appraisal, you are considered a useless resource. The managers make you believe that you dont have it in you any more. You are not as wealthy as your peers or traveled overseas, you are not brilliant enough. People judge others at every given chance. 

As absurd as it may seem, but that's  the way people think.

So much expectations, the self confidence of a person is ultimately lost. Its almost like one lives to meet others' expectations rather than his own.

But there's another problem, the world is a competitive place. You lose confidence, life turns miserable. Low energy levels, negative energy and stress creeps in. How do you keep yourself up and running? So how does one fix this?  

Two ways:

1)  Don't give a damn about other's judging you (THE HARD WAY)

2)  Every individual is the best judge of what he/she's capable of. Compete against yourself.  (EASY WAY)

When I look back at how I used to survive at school, I was never great at Biology. Therefore I never aspired to top the class in Biology. I knew that it was not in my DNA. But I always knew I was better at computers. All that mattered was whether I reached my target. Did I get >95% every time?  Never did I care how much the other person scored. I gave a damn even if the other person scored a 100. I missed my target, I was sad. I was my only competition.

There's competition at work too. Some peers get a bigger raise. Some of them have the knack of selling their ideas better. If I  can't do what other's do, it really does not matter. That did not make me any lesser. I solve problems faster than most people, write much better code. My core skills matters a lot to me. Its important I continue improving on what I do best. That's the competition which drives me to do better stuff daily. Of course, its important to improve on my weakness. But it will never be at the expense of my strengths. 

Winning at business, sports etc is a totally different approach. You need a proper plan, execute it well and play your cards  well.

When it comes to day to day life, to be happy, gaining confidence and be ready to face the next day; its necessary to know what works for you  and also to compete with yourself. Then you'd not care about what others think about you.

Coffee Break

During a coffee break,  discussion between a Fresher who joined the company and a Veteran Engineer.

Veteran Engineer: I'm not happy. Company's not hiked my salary this time.

Fresher: How much money do you need?

Veteran Engineer: Equally experienced folks in our company  get paid more than I do.

Fresher: But how does that affect you?

Veteran Engineer: Other companies pay even better :(

Fresher: Then why don't you make a move?

Veteran Engineer: The non work benefits are awesome here. Life won't be so cool at other places

Fresher: Sounds a good reason to stay back :)

Veteran Engineer: But costs are increasing. Fuel, rent, loans everything's gone up. How can I manage?

Fresher: But our company don't pay so poorly. You'll  also have several years of savings.

Veteran Engineer: I still don't have any money left...

Fresher: Even after being on overseas assignments for years?

Veteran Engineer: What's the use? My kid's school charge 1 lakh rupees. If they charge so much, what can I do?

Fresher: Your kid's in Engineering?!!! I paid far less for my engineering.

Veteran Engineer: Damn you, I'm not so old. Kid's in Kindergarten  only. But its an International school.

Fresher: Why in the world you'd put your kid in such an expensive school? Did ur studies cost so much?

Veteran Engineer: I studied in good convent. 

Fresher:  You're in a good position aren't u?

Veteran Engineer: They teach well, Teach very good English. Teachers are also extremely educated. Know, the school is awesome.

Fresher: OK, then what you pay is what you get. What's the problem?

Veteran Engineer: I pay so much already, the fees will increase from next month!!! So company must hike my salary.

Fresher: Why should the company hike the salary if you decide to spend more?

Veteran Engineer: I also have to invest in real estate.

Fresher: U already live in a villa. Anyways, If you don't have enough money, why  do you want to invest.

Veteran Engineer: I've invested already in few ventures. The property value have appreciated. So I want to invest in more ventures.

Fresher: Now I know what you do with all your money.

Veteran Engineer: Do you also want to invest?

Fresher: Dude, I just got started. Moreover, we have property at our hometown. I want to learn in the initial stages of my career.

Veteran Engineer: I'm telling you, other companies pay more. You must think of shifting.

Fresher: Whatever!!!!

Veteran: Hey. Meeting time, lets go

After a few weeks, the young engineer  left his job for a new one. The Veteran Engineer found an overseas assignment for himself.

Ultimately, the question was never answered "How much money do u need"

I changed my android keyboard!!!

Whenever I write blog posts from my android phone, the experience has only been harrowing to say the least. The punctuations don’t turn out right, the capitalization was all over the place, spelling errors etc.My woes were endless. Fixing of all these glitches turned out to be more time consuming than writing the post itself. As it turned out, I was using the Swype keyboard on android. I was making gestures on the touch screen, which were magically interpreted as words. Swype also accepted keystrokes like a normal touch keyboard, but so much I had gotten used to using gestures that I almost forgot that it was a normal keyboard too.

So much was the trouble using the keyboard that I was contemplating to either stop writing posts using my mobile or using an iPhone. So much for Blogging on the move!!!!

As always, I was lured towards the Apple. Started finding reasons why android sucked big time and why my new hobby (which is barely 10 posts old) has to be done only from an iPhone. But my geeky wisdom kept telling me that getting rid of my Android was not the best decision. The marketing geniuses at Apple too didn’t make things easier for me be pricing the iPhone a good 10K rupees higher than the international prices.

The dilemma existed for close to a week. Ultimately, I came to a sensible conclusion that a lot of people including myself could do a lot more with 40000 rupees than buy a new phone. 

I don’t burn cash, well... I don’t have an iPhone.

I had decided at last, the next task was to work my way around the typing woes on my phone.

The solution was simple; I just reverted back to the Stock Touch Keyboard.  My troubles came to an end. Swype keyboard is a wonderful concept. It worked great, accurate but it was limited to typing short messages, chat. Blogging, emails were entirely a different beast to deal with. The guy's at Google had built a good robust keyboard. Now I’m happy. I can blog happily from my phone and moreover didn’t burn 40K in cash. And I can wait for the iPhone 5 later this year ;-)

Quite often, you are stuck in a situation similar to the one above. Life does not go as per plan. Something which you do everyday is often a pain in the neck.  There’s an overwhelming urge to despise what you do, find more negatives against  nagging troubles and make THE BIG Change. The mind too convinces itself  that complete overhaul is  the one stop fix to all your woes. You’ll be tempted to  start over, do something new.

Most times, all it takes is a small change to fix what’s troubling you. A break, a holiday, few minutes in solitude, calming music, friends etc.. The list of the small changes you can make is endless. Not all the changes work for everyone, but there’s at least once change that will work for you.

Figuring out what works is by trial and experience. You can always seek a counsel. Bottom-line, the more you are open to making the small change, the more chances it will work. The key is “Willingness to experiment” with what works and what does not work.

Go for it, make the small change. Its the easiest way to fix nagging troubles.  Most often, things fall in place.

Enjoy the evening,

- Kaushik

When I went shopping...

Many years ago, I was on the way to a movie, with two of my friends. The movie hall was in the 5th floor. So we had to find our way through the mall, find an elevator and reach the cinema.

Despite the fact that we were running late, both my friends decided to do some shopping or just look around some stuff I must  say. I was quietly following them when suddenly both of them started moving towards opposite sections of the mall. Tried following, but it was impossible, both were running in opposite directions :-)

In the desperate yet impossible quest to  follow both of them, I almost ran into the pillar right ahead of me. Had, I run into the pillar I'd have looked like an idiot coz I tried to be in two places at the same time. Then, came my moment of realization. Never go shopping with two girls :-). I quietly cut the chase and went shopping on my own :) Once all of us were done with our own shopping, we regrouped for the movie.

Since then I made sure that the episode didn't occur again. But time and again I was required to be in two places at once or run behind two different goals at the same time . Later, this is what I figured out.

Often, we try to chase two targets though they are moving away from each other. In the almost impractical solution to chase both of targets, we forget about taking care of ourselves. This results in stress, loss of energy, unseen obstacles and sometimes even missing our own priorities.

It's important to realize such situations, take a step back and give some time to oneself. When one  slows himself down at such times,  mind and vision becomes clear. The  moment of realization presents itself. The mind invariably resorts to the most practical solution. After all,  there's no point chasing two moving targets at the same time.

Happy weekend
-kaushik